Journal Entry – #002

17Feb2005

Here is the first of a series of disappointments – or maybe this isn’t the first one – a diary with a preface. How crushed were you when you realised you weren’t actually reading the diary? Maybe you were just amused and you’re reading this now with the same enthusiasm and light-headedness as you did before. Maybe your heart’s skipping even faster, because you were put on hold for too long, and your curiosity’s about to set your heart ablaze – or you could just be bored to death. I’ve warned you not to set your hopes to high – for this isn’t the diary yet, but a prologue. I just wished to dabble once more in metalanguage. Will you indulge me?

The reason of this prologue is to find the reason why people write diaries. Many do, it’s a widespread habit. I could argue that they are reminiscent of the religious confessions, but then I’d be disregarding other cultures. I could say it’s a fad, but it has endured for centuries. In a way, diaries are much like books, even though raw. Both express our views on reality and fantasy alike. Maybe that’s what makes us human, the need to express ourselves. However, expressing oneself is never easy. Without a hard shell made of hypocrisy & contempt, fake smiles & lowered eyes, one self could barely stand the onslaught of oneself. The solution? A confidant we can trust in, one who’ll remember every single word we say, one who’ll accept every flaw we have without judging us, one who’ll remind us of who we are. Maybe to write a diary is to hold onto the self. A way not to get lost in the hustle & bustle of life. A way to live, & not only to be alive. The problem with some is that they put too much of themselves into their writings. They draw blood from life to make the pages sparkle, whereas their lives wither. Let’s not dwell on this subject any further, the point’s been made and I’m already digressing. I attempted to answer a question, but failed miserably before your eyes. Weak arguments, weak case, weak prologue. Luckily for you, this is the end of it.

Open the curtains. Let the show begin!

(End of Prologue)